Dealing with someone who has anger issues can be quite challenging, especially when it’s someone you care about. The problem increases even more when the anger is directed at you. While they will eventually figure out how to manage their anger, there is much you can do to support their efforts in anger management. Assisting someone with anger issues requires a compassionate, thoughtful, and supportive approach. This article will teach you some proven ways to help someone cope with their anger issues.
Signs of Anger Issues
While anger is a natural emotion, being constantly angry is not. Anger should be expressed in healthy ways that are not harmful to an individual or others. Uncontrollable rage is a certain sign that someone has anger issues that need management. Failing to curb anger issues can result in people harming themselves and others, potentially causing irreparable damage. Here are some common signs someone you know is facing anger issues:.
- They are frequently irritable
- They keep snapping at you when you ask them a question
- They appear angry and in tension most of the time
- Petty issues make them go ballistic
- They display aggression when angry
- They begin holding grudges and plan revenge
- They can’t help speaking sarcastically and making hurtful comments
- They are always annoyed at everything
- They express intolerance of mistakes and weaknesses
- They isolate themselves and refuse to socialize
- They are prone to sulking and acting difficult
- They are prone to violence, hurting themselves and others
How Anger Can Impact People
Temporary anger is not harmful, but chronic anger can negatively impact a person’s health, relationships, social and professional life, and mental stability. The worst problem in dealing with someone experiencing anger issues is the tension and fear of being in their presence. Be it a friend, family member, or co-worker, one feels like they need to walk on eggshells, being careful with what they do or say. Moreover, explosive anger can make it tough to be open to someone or even trust them with honesty. It becomes difficult living with someone who displays aggressive anger issues, but with the right techniques, you can remedy the situation.
How to Help Someone with Anger Issues
If you feel like there is someone in your life who needs anger management, then support and compassion are the first steps in helping them. Following the advice and strategies mentioned below will help them stay calmer, understand anger, and, most of all, be more in control of themselves.
Stay Calm in Their Presence
One of the first things to do when helping someone deal with anger issues is not to get angry yourself. Responding to aggression with aggression only escalates the problem, so try and be calm in their presence despite it being hard to do so. Allow the person to vent and then self-regulate. When you remain calm in the presence of an angry person, their defensive barriers break down, making room for communication.
Encourage Self-Reflection
Encourage the individual to reflect on their anger triggers and patterns. Help them identify specific situations or events that tend to provoke anger. This self-awareness is crucial for developing effective coping mechanisms.
Promote Open Communication
Listening to an angry person is important. Often, when someone feels you’re listening to them, they too might express a willingness to hear out your point of view as well. Sometimes, just being permitted to communicate angry feelings can be enough to help someone calm down.
Allow them time to communicate their feelings without judging or criticizing them. Moreover, avoid aggressive statements like “You’re destructive” or “You’re spoiling everything.” Never downplay their emotions by saying things like “Why are you being so dramatic?” or “Stop making such a fuss over small things.” Instead, say things like, “You have me worried about you” and “ I felt scared when you began yelling.” Let them know the impact of their anger while also showing you care about them.
Teach Them Relaxation Techniques
Introduce relaxation techniques that can help manage anger in the moment. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness meditation can be effective in calming the mind and reducing stress.
Give Them Their Space
If a conversation with an angry person is getting worse, stop talking and give them some space. Allow them time to calm down; once you stop speaking, eventually, they will, too. You could either exit the room or even take a few days off from the person by living elsewhere. Remember, your own space is equally important to avoid getting too angry yourself.
Develop Healthy Coping Strategies
Collaborate on identifying constructive ways to cope with anger. This could include engaging in physical activity, such as exercise, to release built-up tension or practicing problem-solving skills to address underlying issues.
Establish Boundaries
Work together to establish clear boundaries and expectations in relationships or situations that commonly trigger anger. Encourage assertiveness in expressing needs and concerns without resorting to aggressive behavior.
Help Them Identify Their Triggers
When things are normal or when a person is calm and willing to communicate, help them understand their anger. Work with them to identify the triggers that make them angry so that you can avoid them, too. Speak to them on working out how to communicate during their bouts of anger. However, in trying to do so, avoid being judgmental or accusatory, as this might fuel their anger.
Encourage Professional Help
Anger management therapy is the best way to help someone with chronic anger. If the anger issues persist or escalate, suggest seeking professional help. Anger management employs several proven therapies like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and DBT (Dialectal behavioral therapy) that help with emotional regulation, cognitive restructuring, and techniques to relax and stay calm. Therapy will also explore the underlying issues, such as childhood trauma, that may be the reason for chronic anger.
Monitor Their Physical Health
Besides negatively impacting mental well-being, chronic anger can also impact physical health. Unmanaged anger issues can lead to hypertension, muscle pain and fatigue, abdominal issues, insomnia, eating disorders, anxiety, self-isolation and possibly depression. Encourage the person to live a balanced lifestyle, taking care of their physical health and overall well-being.
Provide Positive Reinforcement
Acknowledge and reinforce positive changes in behavior. Celebrate small victories and progress, fostering motivation to continue working on anger management. While helping someone with anger issues, encourage and motivate them to practice self-reaffirmation good for self-confidence and self-esteem.
Be Patient
Being patient is the best support you can extend to someone with anger issues. Changing ingrained patterns of behavior takes time. Patience, understanding, and support without judgment, aggression, or criticism will help the individual’s efforts toward positive change.
Take care of Your Self Too
Helping someone deal with their anger issues is only possible when you are mentally stable yourself. It can be mentally and emotionally challenging to support someone with chronic anger, which is why you need to indulge in your own self care for your physical and mental wellbeing. Strengthening your own emotional stability through self-care practices including a healthy diet, sleep and de-stressing activities will arm you with the mental faculties to help the person you care about.
Remember, addressing anger issues is a gradual process, and consistent support is key to helping someone navigate and overcome these challenges. Being patient with expressions of willingness and kindness will invite reciprocal behavior in time, neutralizing triggers and nurturing change.
