What Is a Polyamorous Relationship? 3 Big Myths, Rules, Types, & How It Works

Polyamorous Relationship
polyamorous relationship

Ethical non-monogamy, also known as consensual non-monogamy, is a popular relationship pattern these days. Swinging, Polyamory, and other ethically “open” partnerships fall under the umbrella phrase of consensual non-monogamy. While consensual non-monogamy has become a hot topic of national debate, the practice of a couple staying together while pursuing outside physical, romantic, and/or emotional connection is not new.

You may not realize that folks in these relationships take their lifestyle seriously. Because of the inherent complexity, they are typically considerably better at putting out rules and discussing feelings and circumstances than many monogamous couples. Let’s discuss the polyamorous relationship, its rules, and its working.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory is derived from the Greek root “poly,” which means “many,” and the Latin root “amor,” which means “love.”. As the name indicates, Polyamory has been defined as the practice and desire to have multiple intimate relationships with the consent of all parties involved.

They can express themselves in various ways, focusing on physical and emotional intimacy with secondary or tertiary partners. People who practice Polyamory see it as ethical, consensual, and responsible non-monogamy, but this may slowly be changing. In a more modern context, traditional Polyamory is transforming into more non-monogamous, multi-partner, non-exclusive sexual or romantic relationships.

Types of Polyamory

After the Polyamory meaning discussion, it is time to know about its types. The structures of polyamorous relationships vary. Polyamory can appear very different for different people than monogamy, which has a distinct “relationship escalation” that often involves dating, monogamy, cohabitation, and marriage. Polyamory has many different and intricate choices. Relationships frequently evolve over time as a result of partners’ self-exploration and practice of fully connecting and sharing honestly with one another.

Solo Polyamory

It is the type of relationship where polyamorous people don’t have a primary partner and date different partners simultaneously. In such relations, people are independent regarding their personal and private matters.


Polyamorous people who want to stay committed and are not supposed to date anybody else are in a polyfidelity relationship. They can be three or more three partners.

Hierarchical Polyamory

In this category of Polyamory, the polyamorous person has one primary partner, and the other multiple partners are secondary or tertiary. The Primary partners are prior to others, and they get the most time and attention. Even primary partners are involved in the most important decisions of life.

Non-hierarchical Polyamory

Commonly known as egalitarian polyamory or relationship anarchy, in these relations, there are no hierarchies of partners. Every partner gets equal time and attention and is equally involved in important life decisions

What Is Polyamorous Relationship
What Is A Polyamorous Relationship

how do polyamorous relationships work?

Compared to other relationships, polyamory relations are pretty complex and challenging. Every type of Polyamorous relationship has its complexities and issues. That’s why people often ask how polyamorous relationships work. Polyamorists make rules in the relationships that all partners need to follow. Every polyamorist has their own set of boundaries. So, even in a relationship, they must respect the boundaries and rules of other partners. Not only this, but they also have to compromise over certain things.

Agreements between Polyamorists

As having more partners means that there are more chances to get physically involved. It sometimes results in unsafe intercourse between partners. So, the first agreement that most polyamorists make is about having safer sex.

There are certain limitations set between partners. They also decide with whom they will do family planning and which partner will become their child’s parent. Different rules are made to avoid issues like sexually transmitted infections or unintentional pregnancy.

How to Know if Someone is Polyamorous?

Many people are unhappy with their partner or the things going on in life. You must watch out for people around you and if they need any help. It is important to know which person is a polyamorist to help him get better at life.

You can easily discover someone who is polyamorous and unsure about it by asking simple questions about polyamorous signs. We recommend you first make them comfortable with you and ensure that you won’t judge them.

  1. First, ask them if they have multiple crushes and are indecisive about which one they may go for. Or if they do not want to leave them both.
  2. Similarly, ask them if they are comfortable with having their partner romantically involved with someone else. If yes, then ask them more questions like that.
  3. Most importantly, you must ask them if they will have multiple partners and whether they are afraid of commitment.

To find your answers, ask the person to visit a relationship coach for once and make it confirm whether they are 100% polyamorist or not.

Polyamorous Relationship
What Is A Polyamorous Relationship? 3 Big Myths, Rules, Types, & How It Works

How to Tell Your Partner That You are Polyamorist?

If you are in a monogamous relationship and you and your partner think that Polyamory might be right for you, it can be challenging to know where to start. Cheating is when you feel something but don’t tell your partner about it. So make sure to be clear with your partner about everything. If you are in a relationship and want to tell your partner that you want to move into a polyamorous relationship, you first need to be honest with them. But if you are scared and can’t tell your partner because you don’t want to be rejected or judged, there are other ways to bring it up.

Here are a few tips for discussing Polyamory with your partner

  1. Watch the movie on a polyamorous topic together and ask them how they feel about the movie.
  2. Ask them what they think about polyamorists and how they feel about being a polyamorist.
  3. Go and search for a polyamorous celebrity and ask your partner about their viewpoints on the celebrity’s relation.

Never go in a furious manner. First, assess the viewpoints of your partner and then start talking. Discussing your situation peacefully and calmly will help you both. Don’t go for arguments and fights. If your partner disagrees with you, then the simplest thing to do is convince him calmly. If nothing works out, then you must move on and try to find a compatible partner, as your mental health is essential.

If your partner shows some concerns and is confused, we suggest you visit a relationship coach.

How do I Tell my Family and Friends that I am Polyamorous?

A few people have a conversation with their parents. Some people prefer to call them or send them an email. Although some people will be offended and some won’t agree with you. But make sure to clear your mind. Below are pointing to remember:

  1. Concentrate on the positive aspects of the relationship.
  2. Questions should not offend you.
  3. Don’t try to convert or preach.
  4. Consider why you desire to inform your friends and family.
  5. Stay true to yourself.

Famous Myths About Polyamorous People

While reading this blog, you might also be thinking about several things. There are most common myths about polyamorous people, and we will try to tell you about each of them and how it actually works over here.

Being Polyamorous means, You are Cheating in a Relationship.

Dating more than one person at the same time is considered cheating. For this reason, Polyamory is considered cheating. But people in polyamorous relationships are honest with their partners. The more you communicate with your partner, the more open you are; then there are more chances of a successful polyamorous relationship.

People in this relationship can still cheat, like doing something secretive that is not included in the relationship agreement or anything like that.

Polyamorists are Afraid to Commit

As compared to a normal relationship, polyamory commitment is quite different. There may not be engagement or marriage between partners, but still, they are committed to their partners. Even Polyamorous people say it is hard to be in this relationship because commitment is challenging. They have to be honest and open to their partners all the time.

Similarly, polyamorists can marry their primary partner as well and stay committed in monogamous relationships as well.

There is no Affection and True Intimacy in Polyamory.

People committed to other relationships think that polyamorous relationships result in fake emotions and no true intimacy between partners. But the polyamorists state that intimacy between polyamorists is more vulnerable and perfect than among non-polyamorists. And this is because they share honest feelings with partners and are not judgemental over others’ viewpoints.