Trust issues are a very broad label often cast upon anyone who tends to mistrust others, but it’s much more than that. While some people might have chronic trust issues as a part of their nature or mental disposition, others might develop trust issues because of failed relationships, abandonment, betrayal, and being victims of gaslighting or manipulation. This article will provide insight on trust issues, the signs, root causes, and practical steps toward healing and rebuilding the capacity to trust.
What is Trust?
At its core, trust reflects our confidence in others to meet their commitments and behave in predictable ways. It is a subjective way of how much we believe in the honesty of others, Whether in business dealings, family bonds, or romantic relationships. Healthy relationships are built upon trust, often breaking down in the absence of it.
What Are Trust Issues?
Your capacity to trust can become damaged in various ways – whether through internal struggles with self-doubt, a naturally cautious mindset, or as a direct result of someone else’s betrayal or harmful actions. Trust is a sensitive issue that comes with several uncertainties; often, we need to figure out who to trust and how much to trust. However, this level of trust resolves itself according to the progress or breakdown of a relationship. Trust issues can cause irreparable damage to relationships of any kind be it romantic, family or business. Learning how to trust when it is necessary is crucial and integral to your well-being and an anxiety-free relationship. Trust issues are usually displayed by certain behaviors or exhibited by a particular nature. Here are some common signs of trust issues.
Signs of Trust Issues
- Assumptions of betrayal: Assumptions of betrayal are mostly prevalent in romantic relationships where you assume your partner is betraying you. Anticipating betrayal by reading too much into a partner’s actions is a common display of trust issues. Your partner might be genuinely working late, might have texted a male colleague, or gone for a night out with their friends of the same gender. Instead of finding out the facts, you assume that your partner might be having an affair, doing so just to hurt you.
- Avoiding commitment: Regardless of how much affection and love you feel for someone, you still possess commitment issues out of fear you might be betrayed. Your trust issues prevent you from believing that a permanent, successful relationship is possible.
- Isolation: Trust issues can convert into commitment phobia. In such instances, you tend to avoid discussions on proposed relationships, or you might walk away at the slightest hint of trouble. Isolation and distancing yourself from a prospective partner is another sign of trust issues.
- Nitpicking and fights: Trust issues breed insecurity, which causes internal turmoil and resentment. Sooner or later, it forces you to accuse your partner or fight with them over petty issues to release your anger against them.
- Being overly protective. People with trust issues are usually overprotective of their partners. This is because they fear if they aren’t, they will become disloyal.
- Refusal to forgive: The unwillingness to forgive even petty mistakes is one of the biggest signs of trust issues. The resentment and pent-up anger make it impossible to understand someone’s minor errors, let alone forgive them for them. Just remember, forgiveness is a sign of self-growth.
- Loneliness or depression: People with trust issues often end up feeling extremely lonely or depressed due to self-isolation or avoidance of interaction with their partners.
What Leads to Trust Issues?
Sometimes, trust issues may not even be a problem caused by the relationship but an issue afflicting the individual experiencing them. Chronic trust issues especially can fill you with insecurity, and prevent you from developing relationships. Several key factors typically contribute to the development of these trust issues.
Past betrayals: Be it past relationships, friendships, or professional settings, past wounds and betrayal trauma can leave lasting scars that impact future interactions. It might be easy to repair a relationship, but to trust again is hard, be it the current relationship or the ones in future.
Traumatic experiences in Childhood: Traumatic experiences during childhood, which include forms of abuse or abandonment, are also likely to cause trust issues in adult life.
Manipulation or ill-treatment: A person who has been the victim of gaslighting, manipulative behavior or ill-treatment in a relationship becomes more cautious and mistrusting of relationships in future.
Low self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may struggle to believe that they are worthy of trust and loyalty. This self-doubt can lead to a perpetual cycle of mistrust.
Parental divorce or conflicts: A child who has experienced the trauma of parental separation and divorce or who has witnessed constant fighting between parents is very likely to become wary and mistrustful of relationships in future.
How To Fix Trust Issues
Trust issues might exist, but following these tips to fix trust issues resolves the anxiety of trust issues and makes you more confident of your relationship.
Honest Communication
Honest and open communication is the key to building trust. Explain to others your boundaries, your values, and where you draw the line. Encourage open dialogue, express your feelings, and actively listen to your partner or colleague’s perspective. Avoid accusatory statements like “You hurt me” or “Look what you did to me.” Instead, try saying, “I felt disappointed when you failed to turn up.” In this way, you accept the responsibility for your feelings without directly blooming the other person.
Process Your Past Experiences.
Acknowledging you have trust issues is the first step in resolving them. Attempt to understand past betrayals and the origins of your trust issues to prevent applying them to your current relationships. Engaging in self-reflection to identify the root causes of your mistrust can pave the way for personal growth and healing. If past betrayals have created too deep an impact, considering therapy and counselling will help.
Learn To Take Risks by Being Comfortable with Them
Just because someone let you down at some point in time is no reason to become permanently distrustful of them. Moreover, you need to understand that despite being betrayed or hurt by someone in the past, you can still move on and take a leap of faith with a new relationship because everyone isn’t the same.
Practice Empathy
Cultivating empathy is crucial in overcoming trust issues. Try to understand the other person’s perspective, acknowledge their feelings, and work towards mutual understanding. Once you begin to understand why people act the way they do, it will change your assumptions and help you see them in a better light.
Be Mindful of Your Relationships
It is your daily interactions with others that build up the trust. Being mindful of these interactions helps you objectively evaluate such interactions without your emotions influencing you. Moreover, it also enables you to understand why some people or your partner deserve your trust.
Work as a Couple
A relationship is also a meeting of minds, which is why you need to involve your partner in your issues that stemmed from past betrayals. Opening means you receive support and an extra effort from your partner to initiate the healing process. In an existing relationship, the only way to repair, renew or build trust is for both to be engaged, accessible to each other and responsive.
Build Self-Esteem
Those with low self-esteem are often mistrustful of others. Being confident and working on self-esteem is fundamental to overcoming trust issues. Recognize your worth, celebrate achievements, and focus on personal growth to foster a positive self-image.
The Takeaway
Be it a business, friendship or marriage, trust is the foundation of a relationship. Being mistrustful of those close to us can make you feel miserable and lonely. However, you needn’t feel this way, especially when your partner does not give you reasons to do so. Focus on the healthy aspects of the relationship, which provides you with reason to believe that feelings of mistrust are unfounded. This helps overcome the trust issues to live a life of happiness with the person you love.
